Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Randomize
