I CAN MOONWALK!
Moan for me like Helen Keller
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize