Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
