I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Randomize
