i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
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