Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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