I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
