your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
