I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Randomize
