if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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