I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Randomize
