My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
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