he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
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