I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
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