Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
