Old men and throwing up are my life now.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I have fence marks all over my body
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
