best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
