I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Randomize
