i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
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