nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
