O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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