census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
