There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
