I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Randomize