so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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