shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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