Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Randomize
