How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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