It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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