He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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