Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Randomize
