Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
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