hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
i think my cat just said my name.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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