I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
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then he tried to convert me to islam
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
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It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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