after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
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