Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
