so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Randomize
