Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
