I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Dignity is for republicans.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
Randomize
