ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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