The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Duck Duck Cougar?
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
