I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
