? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
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