At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
