the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Randomize