worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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