Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
