summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
