he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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