I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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