remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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