I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
