Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
