just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
