My friends, they love my intelligence
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
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