i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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