After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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