This is not my ceiling
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Let's get the cat blown out
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
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