i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Randomize
