mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Life without a bra equals bliss.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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