ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
