so explain again why im purple
no
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
