Joe is yelling at the trees again.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Randomize
