i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
