Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize