Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
We just shotgunned beers for America
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
A bitchslap is in order.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
