So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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