So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
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