Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
