How'd it feel making her break her religion?
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
